Right To Live

First some facts.

1 in 4 known pregnancies end in miscarriage.

50% of those are missed, which means your body does not naturally expel the tissue on its own. This requires medication or surgery, sometimes both since medication is not 100% effective.

Up to 18% of miscarriages require surgical intervention.

An estimated 23 million miscarriages occurs every year. Which means up to 4,140,000 surgeries are medically necessary.

Here’s my story…

July 19, 2022 my husband and I got a positive pregnancy test! Joy, excitement, and love immediately overwhelmed us! According to my cycle, I was one day short of 6 weeks, and only 1 week late for my period. We scheduled my first appointment with the OB for August 9th. I would be one day short of 9 weeks. This is normal , as they don’t normally bring you in until after 8 weeks.

At this appointment, they confirmed pregnancy with another urine test and scheduled my first ultrasound. Normally, the ultrasound is done between 10 and 12 weeks. The only appointment open before my 13 week point was August 15th. At the ultrasound appointment, they told us that it looked “abnormal” and only measuring 5 weeks and 3 days.

My OB called me Wednesday, August 17th, and ordered a blood test stat! She scheduled me to come into the office Friday, August 19th. At this appointment, she explained what no expectant parents want to hear. This is not a viable pregnancy. “You are likely experiencing a missed miscarriage or a molar pregnancy.”

     •A Molar Pregnancy is a noncancerous tumor that develops as a result of a non-viable pregnancy. There may or may not be an embryo or placental tissue present. However, if an embryo is present, it will not survive. Molar pregnancies can become cancerous and increase the risk of future molar pregnancies, and therefore cancer.

So not only am I finding out that this baby who we were so excited for - planning our announcement, picking names, and day dreaming about - is not going to make it. But we are also facing the terrifying and most dreaded “C” word. Not only is my 4 year old - who has been begging for a sibling for years - now losing a sibling she was excited about, but also at risk of losing her mom.

The doctor explained that our safest option was to do a Dilation & Curettage, which is the surgical removal of the utteran lining and/or contents of the uterus by scraping and scooping. There are other options like medicine, but there is a risk of it not completely removing everything. With the 50% chance that this was molar, the procedure was our only option. Molar pregnancies require the surgery to prevent cancer. We scheduled the procedure for Monday, August 22nd.

My OB ordered an ultrasound for that afternoon. She explained that it was simply for closure for my husband and me. It was just going to confirm no growth/development, so we didn’t wonder “what if” later on. She said she would get the results by the end of the day and call me Saturday.

Saturday, August 20th, just as we were about to sing “Happy Birthday” to our daughter, the phone rang. It was the OB. She very cautiously told us the second ultrasound did not confirm what they thought. She said it possibly showed some development, and suggested we wait on the procedure. If this would develop into a viable pregnancy, we would hear a heartbeat within the next 2 weeks. She explained the likelihood was very slim, but because it was a desired pregnancy she wanted to be 100% sure before proceeding. We canceled the procedure, scheduled an ultrasound for Tuesday, Sept. 6th, and prayed.

For two days we prayed and believed that we would have a healthy baby. We looked up the due date based on the measurements, and the baby would be due April 14th - a day after my 30th birthday! What a miracle! We believed that this was how it was supposed to be!

Monday, August 22nd, I started spotting. The doctor said this could be normal early pregnancy spotting or the beginning of a miscarriage. Wednesday, August 24th, it was heavier. Similar to my period, so they called me into the office. After an exam, they confirmed my body was miscarrying. My OB explained that medically this was the best case scenario in our situation. This made the likelihood of it being molar very slim, and reduced the risk of needing surgery. This went on for three days- bleeding similarly to my period. By Friday, I was passing large clots of blood and tissue. This was incredibly uncomfortable physically and emotionally. The cramps were also the worst I’d every experienced.

Saturday, August 27th, around 9:15pm I went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. For about 20 minutes the blood flow was constant. Like a never ending stream. You could hear as it reached the toilet water. I would flush, and within seconds the bowl was deep red. The only time the stream would slow was right before a large clot passed. I called for my mom.

We called the on call OB who explained this was not abnormal. While on the phone with her, I lost consciousness. Thankfully my mom was able to help me to the ground before I fell. The doctor advised we go to the hospital because of this. Right before hanging up, I lost consciousness again, but this time my mom struggled to get me to come to. The ambulance was called around 10:30pm.

After an evening in the ER full of ultrasounds, blood tests, and consults, they suggested the procedure. The doctor explained that this was the only way to slow the bleeding. Around 8:30am they took me back to the OR. I was home by noon and the bleeding has already decreased tremendously. For another week and a half I bled lightly before it stopped completely.

If you’ve never experienced a miscarriage or been close to someone willing to share their story, you would never know. In my ignorance, I assumed a miscarriage was a one day “event”. I had no idea it could last 4-6 weeks. I had no idea how traumatizing it was to pass such large clots of blood and tissue. I had no idea that my life was at risk due to possible hemorrhaging. I also had no idea that a miscarriage could create the need for a medically necessary abortion to save a woman’s life. I swore I would never have an abortion, as long as the pregnancy was a result of consensual sex. I have a supportive family, so I felt I would never need one. Never in a million years would I expect to abort a pregnancy with my husband. However, that’s what I did. My medical bill says “abortion.” This scenario, and others even worse, are included in abortion bans.

I did it to save my life. I did it so my daughter still has her mom. If you are pro-life, he pro-life for the women! Be pro-life for the living and breathing children who would grow up grieving their mothers. Pro-life shouldn’t only pertain to the tissue growing inside a woman, it should be about the woman. Period!

With Roe v. Wade overturned, the governor of your state has the power to decide if you can receive MEDICALLY NECESSARY and potentially LIFE SAVING surgery or not. Likely a man, who will never experience a miscarriage or abortion, has the power to charge you with a FELONY for seeking MEDICAL CARE to save your life! The choice is yours.

When you vote this Tuesday, be sure you understand the consequences. From a woman who always said “I would never get an abortion,” I can guarantee that only someone who is physically unable to get pregnant can HONESTLY make that promise. Understand that it could happen to you, your daughter, sister, or friend. Do not make the mistake of voting for someone who will not only take rights away, but also lives. If we lived in a different state, my 4 year old daughter would be growing up without a mom.